1/21 LSM: Fantasy: Titillating and Taboo, NY

Lesbian Sex Mafia Presents: Titillating and Taboo (What Gets You Off and How To Do It)

 

Does dirty talk turn you on? Want to be punished? Want to “force” someone to do naughty things? Really want to make those wicked thoughts a reality?

This workshop will cover some common desires, like restraints, impact play, and dirty talk, as well as how to communicate your desires, confront personal shame/discomfort around fantasies, and maneuver such desires into your sex and play.

Through small group discussion, interactive and reflection activities you’ll explore expressing your deepest fantasies and how to get what you really want.

Date: Fri, January 21, 2011; 8pm – 10pm
Location: The LGBT Center, 208 W 13th St, NY (Google Maps). Get directions using Hopstop.
Cost: LSM member: $5; Non-members $10 (Members – renew now and continue to get all the benefits of an LSM membership!)

About Megan Andelloux

Megan Andelloux is a nationally certified Sexuality Educator through A.A.S.E.C.T and a board certified Sexologist through A.C.S. She is the Founder and Director of the non-profit Center for Sexual Pleasure and Health, located in Pawtucket, RI.

Ms. Andelloux lectures internationally at colleges, universities, medical schools, and sexuality institutions on issues surrounding sexual politics, pleasure, sexual health, and erotic justice. To date, she has taught at over three dozen higher educational institutions, including medical schools and Ivy league universities such as Brown, Yale, and Harvard.

She is an author in the books, We Got Issues A Feminist Response to Cultural Attitudes On Feminism and Sex and Society, a comprehensive guide to current knowledge and expert analysis of sex and sexuality.

Ms. Andelloux was named ” Vagina Warrior of the Year” from the Vagina Monologues for her work regarding sexual communication and fear reduction. She has been labeled as “The Princess of Pleasure” and more recently, “The Sex Ed Warrior Queen”.

She is listed on Wikipedia as an American Feminist, Writer and Sex Educator and on the Erotic Heritage Museum’s Hall of Heros, which showcases icons of sexual revolution.

Wesleyan University Asks “Anal Hurts: How Can I Enjoy It?”

10/29: Smith College

The Smith College Vox Chapter is proud to present ….

Where: Smith College Resource Center for Gender and Sexuality (Wesley Basement)

When: Friday, October 29th

Time: 4:00-6:00 pm

Cost: Free

To learn more, visit the Facebook page HERE

WholeDC Presents Megan Andelloux

WholeDC Presents Megan Andelloux: The New Gay Interview

11 DECEMBER 2009, 12:00 PM

This post was submitted by michael

A bitter winter wind keeps whipping through DC, trundling brown fallen leaves through the city streets. One can hardly find defense outside from its icy wheezing. Luckily this weekend, however, someone well acquainted with cold December climate is coming to town with some tools to help us heat up the holiday season! AASECT certified Sexuality Educator and ACS certified Sexologist Megan Andelloux has been recruited by WholeDC to give two back-to-back workshops Saturday, “How to Please a Woman in Bed” and “How to Please a Man in Bed.” A resident of Pawtucket, Rhode Island (home of Hasbro; the people who brought you Jem, Mr. Potato Head, and My Little Ponies) and a self-proclaimed “sex nerd,” Megan is extending an invitation to all genders and orientations to come learn some new ways to get warm[wink]!

Megan is an author in the book “We Got Issues,” a feminist response to cultural attitudes on feminism, and a frequent expert contributor to sexualhealth.com. She is also the Founder and Director of the non-profit Center for Sexual Pleasure and Health in Pawtucket, RI. Charming, charismatic, and sincere, Megan has devoted herself to educating people about sexual health and pleasure. Through her sexual education workshops at numerous colleges and medical schools, and work with local medical providers, Megan has become renowned for her engaging teaching style, depth of knowledge, and activism. Come out to see a true Rhode Island treasure this Saturday, you won’t be disappointed! To learn more about Megan’s efforts in community outreach and her experiences as a sex educator, see the interview below. Also, take some time to peruse her amazing website providing sexual health information, reviews of popular sex toys, and sex-positive advice.

December 12, 2009 – WholeDC Presents Megan Andelloux

“How to Please a Woman in Bed” (4:00-5:30pm; Café Salsa, upstairs; $20)

“How to Please a Man in Bed” (6:30-8:00pm; Café Salsa, upstairs; $20)

(Come for both classes, $30)

**see http://wholedc.com for more details**

The New Gay: Megan, you’re a certified sex educator and sexologist. What got you started on this rather unconventional path?

Megan Andelloux: There were a couple of things. First, in college, I had a knack for memorizing sex facts… [laughs] although I’m not really sure where that came from because I was studying marine biology (at the University of Rhode Island). When you’re in college you talk about sex all the time. In small groups of friends I realized that people kept hitting on the same questions, questions I had been hearing since high school. That started to pique my interest… you know, why the same questions were still unresolved years later. Then I ended up taking a human sexuality course, as a filler, and fell in LOVE with the topic. There my penchant for sex facts came in handy. And things sort of just came together.

The other part, which I didn’t really acknowledge in the beginning, but after four years in the field I realized, was that the field of sex education was a way for me to explore sexuality in a safe manner. I had been sexually assaulted, and it wasn’t allowed to be talked about at the time. And our culture seemed to reinforce a fear of talking about this thing that, although it was on everyone’s mind, no one seemed to be able to discuss openly.

TNG:  Did you find it disheartening that this thing we have consistently done as a population since the beginning of our species (having sex), was so crippling to talk about in public?

MA: Of course! And you can see how it affects us, just look at the recent obsession with Tiger Woods. I think one of the reasons people get so wrapped up in celebrity sex scandals is because they finally give us permission to talk openly about sex. Focusing judgment and blame away from us, we readily engage in conversations about someone else’s sex life. And sometimes that can be a useful way to facilitate more probing discussion. But we need to be able to have these discussions about ourselves, and our own sexualities.

TNG: You do a lot of educational outreach within the medical community. Can you tell me a little about that work?

MA: Sure, there are two facets of my work in the medical community. One is teaching medical providers about sexuality issues, and how to be sex-positive providers. For a lot of people, their doctor is a primary source of adult sex education. So I give workshops at medical schools, of the ilk I run at any other university.  We go over sex work issues, sex toys, BDSM play, etc, to make sure they are exposed to the information and to help create a language through which they can talk to their patients comfortably. Medical students are really focused, and they learn a lot about the diseases of the body… but issues of sexual health and behavior extend past mere physical abnormalities and disease. If you don’t train people to deal with these broader issues, they aren’t as well equipped to provide health information to the public. Or worse, when confronted with candid questions they get that “deer in headlights” look, which then affects the patient’s willingness to seek out similar health advice in the future.

The other role I play in the medical community is as a gynecological teaching assistant.

TNG: Um, yeah, with that last one… which side of the examining table are you on?

MA: [laughs] Oh, I’m on the table! Part of this work is helping medical students practice their first gynecological examinations. The other part is helping established providers conduct pelvic exams on women who have been sexually assaulted, and how to make it less traumatizing. In both cases, beyond practicing physical technique there is a focus on infusing the right type of language and discussion into the examination. A small example is getting doctors to use phrases like “that looks healthy” instead of “that looks normal” … because “normal” is ambiguous and less informative. These are simple adjustments to the exam, but you’d be surprised at how much of a difference they make in effectively communicating with a patient.

TNG: Another part of your work is sexuality education to the general public, at college campuses or workshops like the one this Saturday… is it hard to establish a common ground between a sexually diverse crowd?

MA: No, not at all. Again, language is powerful and I think people can get very caught up in the language of sexuality, and the labels. But during my workshops I try to give a disclaimer that we have all joined in a place of support and respect. And besides, we are all there to talk about genitalia. I tend to use very general terms that are relatable to a diverse group, but it is important for people to know they have the permission to be themselves and to ask any question, and as a group we can find a common language.

TNG: For readers interested in attending your workshop this weekend, what should they expect? A medical overview of sex, personal experience stories, or just Q&A?

MA: I usually start off with some type of game, to warm everyone up… because it can be very nerve-racking to be sitting amongst strangers and talking about sex. I have puppets and toys, or I’ll have the group all talk dirty, just something sassy to lighten the mood [laughs]. Next, we’ll spend about 45 minutes going over anatomy. I think it’s important to build upon the general sex education we were taught in high school, and rediscover the same anatomy from a pleasure perspective… like why your body feels this way when you get touched here or apply pressure there, that sort of thing. We’ll go over all the erogenous zones, and tricks to wake them up in fun new ways. Then we go into behaviors. Questions are usually infused throughout, whenever they pop up. But you can also write anonymous questions down in the beginning of the class, and I will answer them at the end. In total, each workshop lasts almost two hours. People don’t all learn in the same way, so I definitely try to use a variety of teaching strategies and make the group as interactive as possible. I rely heavily on the extensive training I received working in the education department of Planned Parenthood affiliates to try to create a sense of comfort, and to engage people to learn and participate.

TNG: Through your work, have you noticed contemporary sexuality issues becoming prominent that haven’t been so prevalent historically?

MA: We continually struggle with getting quality sex education out to the public, and facilitating open communication. But more recently, there is a rise in discussion of porn and sex work issues. For example, there has been a dramatic increase in the labeling of “sex addiction” in our country, and debate around whether we are over-sexed as a culture. Often, focal points of this debate center on the prevalence of cheating scandals in the news, increased awareness of open relationships, and widespread acceptance of masturbation. Often conservative rhetoric in these issues relies heavily on a stance of victimization. We especially see a growing debate on the victimization of women in porn and sex work. Discussions like these bring up important issues, like how do you decide if someone is being victimized… and who gets the power to make that decision; lawmakers, interest groups, or the individuals engaged in the behavior? Who gets to set the moral values through which these actions are discussed? Why aren’t we talking about queer porn… are women the only ones subject to victimization? Is there such a thing as consensual prostitution? I am excited that communication is being initiated in the public, but I still think the current debate isn’t yet addressing the heart of these issues.

I don’t know if you’ve heard of the XXX Church. It is an anti-pornography group that seems to campaign a great deal against people masturbating, particularly men. They have been going around to college campuses with Jon Jeremy to debate issues of the benefits and hazards of porn and masturbation. These discussions are really interesting, and in time they will hit on something even more substantive. In the process, though, we should raise our awareness of the sources of our sexual information, and start thinking about who then gets to make decisions about what forms of sexual behavior are appropriate.

TNG: What is one of the most shocking things you’ve heard in discussing sex with the public?

MA: Recently I had someone disclose to me that they had put anti-bacterial hand sanitizer on their vagina to prevent STDs. Equally shocking to me, however, is when I hear that one partner feels pain during sex, but never communicates that to the other partner. We desperately need to get better at talking about sex!

TNG: On your website, you promote “feminist sex shops.” Can you describe for me the modern feminist, and what issues are most important to her?

MA: The modern feminist group that I would belong to would probably be, very simply, described as pro-choice. We want access to CHOICES in sexual education, reproductive rights, and sexual identity. We want to define as individuals what we consent to, and be free to engage in consensual behavior with others. I highlight feminist sex shops because I think that women are really playing a prominent role in guiding the discussion and advancement of sexuality in today’s society.

TNG: What made you decide to choose Pawtucket, RI to open your Center for Sexual Pleasure and Health?

MA: Well, my partner is a physician at the local hospital. But it’s more than just that. I’ve always really liked Rhode Island’s quirkiness. We lived in the Boston area for a while, but I missed Rhode Island and wanted to come back.

TNG: You seem to be getting a lot of resistance toward opening your business, can you tell me a little bit about that?

MA: The only resistance I’ve encountered has stemmed from one woman and a city official. I think both were scared of the idea of the business, and acted before they really investigated it. Unfortunately, they have a lot of power so their resistance has been felt very strongly. However, the rest of the population of Rhode Island, and even the rest of the country, have been in huge support. I’ve not received a single letter, email, or phone call from anyone expressing opposition to my business.

TNG: What continues to drive you in your work as a sex educator?

MA: “I believe that people should be able to know about their bodies, and how to appreciate and enjoy their bodies. It’s a fundamental right that we should have. And I think that anytime you stand up for something you believe in, it causes change to happen.”

TNG: Thank you so much for taking the time to talk with me! It was such a pleasure to learn more about your work, and the upcoming WholeDC event!

Source: http://thenewgay.net/2009/12/wholedc-presents-megan-andelloux.html



Defy The Box: Radio Interview

Hosted by: Defy the Box
Title: EPISODE 18 _ Megan Andelloux: Oh Megan!…Totally cool Sex Educator…

Episode Notes: Megan Andelloux, also known as Oh Megan!works as a board certified sexologist and sexuality educator. She is the founder and director of The Center for Sexual Pleasure and Health, a non-profit sexuality organization attempting to open in Rhode Island.

Click HERE to listen to the podcast

The CSPH was set to open in last fall, however the city of Pawtucket has censored sexual education from taking place. She, along with other sex positive citizens, the ACLU and her lawyer are currently fighting the towns decision.

Outside of defending sexual liberties, she travels throughout the country providing workshops on sex pleasure, health and advocacy issues for college/universities. She also works closely with medical schools, training future health care providers how to conduct friendly pelvic exams and be sex positive. More information about Oh Megan can be found on her website.  You can also read her column: Undercover Investigations located at Carnal Nation here.


How Big Is That Closet Really?

Clipped from: Carnal Nation (share this clip)

Swapping your most private fantasies

Swapping your most private fantasies

They can be scary, dark, bizarre, creepy, ridiculous and even downright outrageous.

They are our sexual fantasies, and what happens when we let our minds freely wander could cause even the most liberal, experimental and open-minded folk to blush.

Recently at a cottage getaway, a group of us were playing a board game called Lovers and Liars when one couple revealed they never fantasize about anyone other than each other.

Truly, I was shocked.

“What? Seriously? Yeah, right … there’s no way!” I protested.

The man I am dating also balked.

“So when you’re watching two chicks going at it in porn, you’re telling me you’re not fantasizing about it?” he asked.

“No, I am not thinking about them,” the guy stated flatly.

That he’s not considering what it would be like to be the sandwich meat pressed between the smoking hot faux lesbian porn stars is a tough pill to swallow.

But, after chomping on the topic for some time, we put it to rest.

According to a Sexual Well-being Global Survey conducted by Durex, less than six out of 10 Canadians are comfortable telling their lover what they enjoy in bed.

Most willing to spill the beans are Mexicans at 80%, followed by the Greeks at 76%, and at the bottom of the list for being the most bashful is the British at 49%.

Meanwhile, a study out of the University of Montreal released last year found that women are more likely than men to visualize current or past partners as well as celebrities for their erotic material. Men, however, veer toward imaginary people.

“For some people, discussing their fantasies with their partner is very, very scary,” says Megan Andelloux, a sexual educator with the U.S.-based Miko Learning and Resource Centre.

“They worry about, ‘Oh, what will they think of me?’ ” she explains.

There may be good reason for that.

Andelloux says a common fantasy for a woman involves being sexually overpowered against her will.

At first you might find this information disturbing because why would anyone in their right mind want to imagine a stranger carrying out such a deplorable act?

Fact is, it’s just fantasy, explains Andelloux.

“That’s the prime example of her fantasizing about something that she would never really want to happen,” she offers.

“Fantasy is great because it allows us to explore things you might not necessarily ever do in life. That’s actually what most fantasies are about … for instance, many people fantasize about having sex with people of the same gender, but they don’t identify as gay or bisexual.”

However this can be especially problematic for men, she notes.

“For men, to step out of the male role in society can end a relationship … (his partner may) think he’s gay — and he’s not. A sexual fantasy does not determine who you like and who you love.”

Still, despite the risks, Andelloux says fantasy swapping can boost the sexual intensity in a relationship.

So why do some shy away from it?

“Fantasy is a very healthy behaviour, but some people will still freak out and repress it,” she admits.

“It can be really hard, especially for women, to take that step and admit that they’re sexual because society’s message is that you’re either a bad girl or a good girl. Sometimes people don’t like what they see, or they’ve been told by society that they’re doing something wrong or bad.”

Dr. Alina Wydra, a psychologist practising in Vancouver, says revealing fantasies can be beneficial.

“It’s very delicate,” she stresses.

“But when you’ve established a trusting relationship, you can use fantasies to enhance your sexual relationship.”

However, Wydra says in some cases the magnetic pull of the make-believe can go too far.

One example is patients who are grappling with Internet porn addiction and find themselves unable to connect with a real-life partner.

Issues can also arise when erotic thoughts hit too close to home.

“If you’re fantasizing about a famous Hollywood movie star, that’s one thing, but if you’re thinking about the next-door neighbour and are about to go over there for dinner, that can be a problem.”

OPENING THE FANTASY DRAWER

  • Make a list of fantasies and share them with your partner
  • Try to identify the things that make you feel erotic, such as certain scents, clothing, music and atmosphere
  • Help open the creativity vault by renting a video that highlights your a sexual fantasy you’re curious about
  • Read naughty bedtime stories to each other that stir your imagination or contain scenes you’d like play out

Source: http://lifewise.canoe.ca/SexRomance/SexFiles/2008/01/17/4778028-sun.html